I need to express myself today
I am feeling a bit.....I don't know complex
yeah....i guess that's the word to use
soooo.......i'm doing this search trying to discover myself yet again :)
it can get a bit complex i guess.....that's how i am making it at this very moment
a bit complex
why?????????
well it all happened because a neighbor of mine came by
nooooooooo
i'm not upset because she came by and caught me looking like I stepped out of
a garbage can
not at all...
thank god she didn't dare walk over the dirt and mud my children have created in my front yard
she stayed in her nice air conditioned SUV with her hair all nicely done
she probably smelled really nice
she had pretty make up
her nails and toes were probably manicured
she just rolled down the window and asked if her son was over
he wasn't
I had just walked out to yell at the dog
"ANGEL...STOP BARKING"
the dog always seems to sneak out to the front and terrorize everyone who walks near our home
and she looks skinny because she rather eat sticks than her dog food
but to find my neighbor.....
actually i probably wouldn't of minded if it was just her
she had a friend with her, who looked just like her
maybe they were sisters......does she even have a sister?
anyway....
i had a huge wet spot on my shirt
i need an apron
a dirty diaper in my hand
my hair a mess... sorta like the picture of my drive
then the baby runs out in her dirty, stained shirt
my neighbor sorta gave me "a look" with a slight smile....
maybe i'm reading into it to much
then she gave me simple "bye" and drove away
I wonder what they talked about as they drove off???
hmmmmm
maybe their conversation went like this.....
(all with a southern, valley girl accent of course)
"yeah, that's my neighbor with the eight kids"
"oh boy...she needs some serious help....she looks awful!"
"that's what happens when you have too many children"
Okay.....maybe they didn't say anything at alllllllll
or they said this
"oh, what a saint to raise 8 children"
"she is a really nice lady"
"I need to talk to her some more"
why am i so darn bothered by these ladies seeing me in my
"moment of motherhood"
do i have some serious issues??
do i have low self esteem??
i do need to lose 50 pounds....
you know what i need to do.....???
i need to take in this moment and say thank you lord!!
you have given me such an awesome life
a joy
a peace
and THIS is LIVING
maybe I don't have
the nice nails
freshly cut hair
smooth feet
and
grass in my front yard
for now mud will do
~~~~~
so my soul searching continues
a searching to find out the true meaning of living a wonderful and fulfilled life
a beauty i find in the smiles of my children
even the stinky diapers
the dirty floors that never seem to get cleaned
and
the dirt that never seems to grow grass
for you will always find running and playing....
a running and playing that never gets dull
....and the throwing of the sticks to the skinny dog
~~~~~
Can't forget:
the love my husband shares with me every night
it is truly the simplicity of my life
the delighting in the moments that God brings daily
~~~~~~~
so my soul searching continues as I learn to really love who i am and live my life
yeah....i guess that's the word to use
soooo.......i'm doing this search trying to discover myself yet again :)
it can get a bit complex i guess.....that's how i am making it at this very moment
a bit complex
why?????????
well it all happened because a neighbor of mine came by
nooooooooo
i'm not upset because she came by and caught me looking like I stepped out of
a garbage can
not at all...
thank god she didn't dare walk over the dirt and mud my children have created in my front yard
she stayed in her nice air conditioned SUV with her hair all nicely done
she probably smelled really nice
she had pretty make up
her nails and toes were probably manicured
she just rolled down the window and asked if her son was over
he wasn't
I had just walked out to yell at the dog
"ANGEL...STOP BARKING"
the dog always seems to sneak out to the front and terrorize everyone who walks near our home and she looks skinny because she rather eat sticks than her dog food
but to find my neighbor.....
actually i probably wouldn't of minded if it was just her
she had a friend with her, who looked just like her
maybe they were sisters......does she even have a sister?
anyway....
i had a huge wet spot on my shirt
i need an apron
a dirty diaper in my hand
my hair a mess... sorta like the picture of my drive
then the baby runs out in her dirty, stained shirt
my neighbor sorta gave me "a look" with a slight smile....
maybe i'm reading into it to much
then she gave me simple "bye" and drove away
I wonder what they talked about as they drove off???
hmmmmm
maybe their conversation went like this.....
(all with a southern, valley girl accent of course)
"yeah, that's my neighbor with the eight kids"
"oh boy...she needs some serious help....she looks awful!"
"that's what happens when you have too many children"
Okay.....maybe they didn't say anything at alllllllll
or they said this
"oh, what a saint to raise 8 children"
"she is a really nice lady"
"I need to talk to her some more"
why am i so darn bothered by these ladies seeing me in my
"moment of motherhood"
do i have some serious issues??
do i have low self esteem??
i do need to lose 50 pounds....
you know what i need to do.....???
i need to take in this moment and say thank you lord!!
you have given me such an awesome life
a joy
a peace
and THIS is LIVING
maybe I don't have
the nice nails
freshly cut hair
smooth feet
and
grass in my front yard
for now mud will do
~~~~~
so my soul searching continues
a searching to find out the true meaning of living a wonderful and fulfilled life
a beauty i find in the smiles of my children
even the stinky diapers
the dirty floors that never seem to get cleaned
and
the dirt that never seems to grow grass
for you will always find running and playing....
a running and playing that never gets dull
....and the throwing of the sticks to the skinny dog
~~~~~Can't forget:
the love my husband shares with me every night
it is truly the simplicity of my life
the delighting in the moments that God brings daily
~~~~~~~
so my soul searching continues as I learn to really love who i am and live my life
Comments
You are the woman that those "perfect" women can come to and be themselves and share their struggles because you aren't perfect--they want your freedom! They want to let their hair down and play with their children and love their husband for who he is, not for what he provides!
You are the aroma of life leading to life! 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 Some people can't get enough of that fragrance, others, it scares half to death!
Let your soul rejoice in the Lord!
CB
I don't think so!!
My husband suggested I send 4 of ours over for a visit and have them bring along their dirty laundry so she could it. Then have them stay for dinner and have the mom clean up after the extra 4!!
I sometimes go down that path when I see people whispering behind their hands. It's obvious what they are saying. My hubby just looks at me and says, "who cares what they think." He's right. I am to please the Lord, not man.
God bless you Sweet Sister. Our blessings are many, aren't they?