The Essence of a Mother

Please oh please bear with me.  there might be a few typos.   no caps and maybe some punctuation missing.   but bear with me.    I just feel a little.... i don't know... just a little blah? overwhelmed?   you get my drift?   if you've never been there before...then you're friggin perfect! sigh. another sigh. Here I am...sitting at my computer.... drinking a glass of cabernet... the late afternoon sun casts a shadow on my wall from my view it looks so pretty...like a door leading to a place that's filled with wonder... a place where no cares...no laundry...no complaining...no struggles...no chores...no stress. the door to a peaceful place,  where only i can escape to. "Ok...lady...wake up...  get down to what's really going on!!" Oh...actually, nothing really.  But not gonna write anything of "value" really.  today....it's one of those days...some...

It must be a blissful life when you can live on an island.   There are no cares, worries, or agendas to follow.  A place where you can just lay on the shore in the cold water of February and feel the warmth of the sunbeams on your face. Then there's the s earch for sea shells   and funny looking sea creatures... There is an internal joy of just letting go of stuff,  responsibilities of the "real world"  to experience a sense of freedom A freedom to just be to fly to laugh to act goofy or to just sit and think!! Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking,  pondering,  reflecting... I've been in a season of solitude.   sometimes a mama needs to do that  to realize what matters most in life. Why is it that life becomes so demanding sometimes?   I think there's an invisible expectation of what should be accomplished. Maybe it's  certain car...

It has been quite sometime since I wrote anything truly from my heart.  I feel I have avoided typing anything meaningful lately.  Yes.... I do post my monthly slide-show but that's about it.  Yes.... I have been busy keeping up with schooling,  chasing the kids around, keeping them on top of things... or is it.... I am keeping myself on top of things.... hmmmm.  I guess both.  There are many days where I feel like life just moves.... When I am doing, going, not really thinking..... But then again, I am....ALWAYS....thinking of life I know....that....I am...  Always in thought, yet not always in serious prayer.... Thinking of what God is revealing in my heart. the secret place of my heart. I guess this is where I fail at times... NOT completely giving my heart in audible prayer. So...  does thoughtful,quiet prayer count in a Christian's life? I am one who ponders on God and prays continually in heart and thoug...